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Engagements and Weddings


When you decide to marry, you and your fiancée should first inform both of your parents, preferably in person. If your families don't know each other, arrange a meeting as soon as possible. Generally the bride's parents are responsible for the announcement, either by sending a detailed release to the newspapers, or at a party, or both. An engagement party is an ideal way of telling relatives and friends. If there is to be no engagement party write or telephone relatives and friends before your announcement is released. Check local and hometown requirements in advance and announce within one year of your engagement.


The bride's family determines the number of guests. The groom and his family must furnish the bride their invitation list as early as possible, so that the bride may combine it with her list and remove any duplicates. Wedding invitations are sent out approximately four weeks prior to the wedding. Informal wedding invitations should be short personal notes, telegrams, or telephone calls. If an engagement is broken, all gifts should be returned, except perishable ones.


No bride should make plans for a formal wedding unless her groom accepts all it entails. If your wedding is to be an elaborate formal affair, professional management should be retained if possible. For either a formal or informal wedding there is no substitute for a professional. It is very necessary that you have made certain decisions and arrangements before consulting any of the professional firms listed in this publication for details. You should know your budget, the style of your wedding, date, time, location, number of guests, attendants, and have fabric swatches for coordinating the color scheme.


All weddings with more than two attendants must be rehearsed before the event and at the convenience of the clergyman. Have child attendants there. Preferably the female child can practice walking in her wedding attire and throwing the flowers. The male child should practice with his pillow. Often the rehearsal is held in the evening, preceded or followed by a dinner for the bridal party. If you have not presented gifts to the members of your wedding party, they may be given at this time.


The bride's family is entirely responsible for the wedding ceremony. The groom's family may offer to share in the cost of the reception, and the bride's family may accept, if they wish. Wedding costs, by tradition, are divided as follows:

The Bride (or family) Pays for:

  • Invitations and Announcements
  • The Bridal Outfit and Trousseau
  • Bridal Photographs
  • All costs of the Reception
  • Flowers for the Church and Attendants
  • Reception Music at the Church and Reception Sexton, Organist and Choir Fees
  • All rented equipment for large Weddings and Receptions
  • A limousine for the Bride and Cars for Transportation
  • Groom's Wedding Ring
  • Groom's Gift
  • Gifts for the Bride's Attendants
  • Lodging (if necessary) for out-of-town Bridesmaids
  • Bride's Personal Stationery

The Groom (or family) Pays for:

  • Bride's Engagement and Wedding Rings
  • Marriage license
  • Clergyman's Fee ($1O-$100, inquire)
  • Bride's Flowers
  • Boutonnieres, Gloves, Ties for Men of Wedding Party
  • Wedding Gift for the Bride
  • Complete Wedding Trip Gifts for Best Man and Ushers
  • Lodging (if necessary) for out-of-town Ushers


  • Bride's bouquet usually gift of the groom, may be purchased by the bride's family.
  • Corsages for mothers and grandmothers are usually provided by the groom, but may be purchased by bride for her own mother and grandmother.
  • Bachelor dinner is usually given by groom or family, but may be given by bride's family or friends.
  • Rehearsal dinner is usually given by groom or family, but may be given by bride's family or relatives.
  • Attendant's dresses are usually bought by each girl, but the bride may provide them if she wishes.